where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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