I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
