Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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