just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
