In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
