I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
