Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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