BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
