It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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