didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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