I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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