What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
