Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize