Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Can Purell be used as lube?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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