Are we in a gay sports bar?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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