I just threw up on my dentist
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
