i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i think i have herpe
just one?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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