The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
