i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
