I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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