I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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