The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
