Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I am mentally ready for anal.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize