Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
