just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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