when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
