You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I need a beard to bite.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
