Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
