Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
