i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
