my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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