Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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