You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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