i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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