I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
