doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
