This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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