I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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