I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
we're so committed to being not committed
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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