I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
