Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize