Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
