wat bout pragnant strippers??
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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