id be glad to
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
