Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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