he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Can I color on your dick again?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
