last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
