it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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