new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
