i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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