Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
