Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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