The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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