Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do vagina's smell?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
