New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
