Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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