i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
