just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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