He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
