I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
