Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
